the danish outpost
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feeling kinda how a girl feels

it's been an unsatisfying day all around. for starters, i am a tired, tired kitten. this is what comes from being irresponsible: i stayed out far too late last night, talking with S and smoking way too many cigarettes. i was bone tired when i left work, but i wanted some people. going home would have been sensible, but depressing. so i stayed out.

and then i fell asleep on the couch and woke up at 6:30 this morning to Petula Clark warbling some nonsense over an unidentified cable channel. crawled into bed for a few hours proper sleep, and then crawled in to work.

i've been sitting here, fighting off the urge to nap (mostly successfully, anyway) and listening to the woman in the next cube phlegm her way thru the day. i feel badly that she's sick. i feel even worse having to listen to her hock up gobs of nastiness, and snort pretty much continuously in a way that makes me want to take a plunger to her nostrils just to get it over with.

and all hell has broken loose, at the proverbial 'minute to midnight', on the project at work. it's been chaotic here - people pointing fingers, breaking code, and generally being aggravated (by extension, aggravating). so it's been noisy in my neighborhood.

and it's raining, and i wore clogs.

had lunch with a friend today. he's been kind of distant lately. turns out that he felt the need to choose between the friend and the girlfriend. guess which way the decision went? i heartily disagree with his choice, because i have this fantastical idea that one should never have to make choices like that; we should all be able to work it out, right? of course, in reality, i know that doesn't hold true. but i can still hope. i've offered them my best wishes, because as much as i disagree, it is his choice, one that he came to after a lot of soul searching and heartache.

did i mention that i forgot my umbrella?

and i'm too tired to even call my best friend back just now. she's home sick, and i haven't heard from her in a few days, with the exception of The Pork Chop Incident (never mind, you).

plus, i bought two Christmas presents last night, and sent off a few others that i'd ordered online. you'd think i'd feel a sense of accomplishment, wouldn't you? but nooooo. because i'm good at beating myself up, and keep looking at how long the list is, and thinking about how uninspired i am - those two gifts just sit there laughing at me, and make me mopey.

i'm thinking of stocking up on orange juice and stupid magazines, and praying to the household deities in the vain hope that the dishes will do themselves so i can plunk my tired ass on the couch for an entire evening without much guilt, then get a good night's sleep and hope for a cheerier tomorrow.

yesterday :: tomorrow

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