2001-01-17
feeling kinda
my personal flavour, (in case you wondered) is mocha. it's all ken's fault. 8)
Yum! You're mocha. Intense, rich, and a little complex, you're as tasty as they come. Mmm ... mocha! Strong and rich � but not too sweet � you're the flavor of late nights and early mornings. A coffeehouse regular, you've cornered the market on deep thoughts and probably have a little more than your fair share of brains. In fact, those who know you may even consider you an intellectual, a label that suits you just fine. Deep and thoughtful, you love the academic life � or at least the structured pursuit of knowledge. And, since hitting the books often means all-nighters, what better flavor than mocha to keep you company? Chocolaty and intense, you're a truly tasty treat.
dragged myself to the gym again today, but was a bad friend in the process. ChicaBeanie called me this morning to say she was on her way, and i pled sleepiness. well, duh. it was 7:15 in the morning. most people are sleepy then. of course, she was already up and dressed, and none too pleased to hear my lame excuse. and who could blame her? the deal is, we're supposed to motivate each other to go to the gym, and i weaselled. bad friend. so we went at lunch time, suffered thru a power abs class, and talked about a regular schedule. we picked a few classes, including (gah!) power abs once or twice a week. i suggested that we pick something fun to reward ourselves to add that extra little soupçon of motivation. i'm pretty sure that we ended up giving ourselves permission to go to the McDonald's we can see *from the gym* once a week. how cruel is that? there you are, sweating away in an aerobics class, or torturing yourself on a step machine, and right in front of you, taunting you silently, is McDonald's, aided and abetted by Dunkin' Donuts. cruel, cruel.
as much as i wail and moan about going, it feels kinda nice once i'm there. the current state of my body is not so good, by my estimation. it's not horrible, but i've certainly felt healthier and looked better. so going and taking action to change it makes me feel better. it's a good circle (as opposed to the vicious ones) - i feel positive about working out, so i feel better about myself, so i'm more willing to do good things for myself, so i work out more, and... you get the idea.
i feel sort of silly talking about trying to lose weight, though. isn't that the classic problem for women? we're spoon-fed (you'll pardon the phrase) this image of what we should look like, according to 'society', and the idea that we need to be blonde and tall and thin, strutting the catwalk with a vacant expression on our faces, is a pretty powerful one. even if, intellectually, you recognize that this is an impossible, counter-productive standard, that holding all women to one standard is ridiculous, that there are many ways to be healthy and attractive... the emotional impact has a mighty pull. on some level, we continue to measure ourselves by this farcical ideals. in saying that i feel the need to lose about 15 pounds and build muscle tone, i feel as if i'm buying into the whole image thing, even though i know that a lower BMI will mean better cardio vascular health, stronger muscles will protect my bones, weight training will help keep my bones strong, warding off osteoporosis, and getting into shape now will make it easier to stay healthy as i get older. at some level, it still comes back to 'i want to look really sexy in my bathing suit this summer'. i guess if i make that choice for myself, rather than letting society force it upon me, it's a healthy one, and i should just stop worrying.
i'm pulling together ideas for my collab entries this month, and had worked out a nice little two parter. it's so cool when ideas from different projects just mesh together. one is about fear, and the other about life goals. nice yin/yang sort of thing going on there. and i had it all worked out. until this morning, when it donned on me that this weekend is the inauguration. the Shrub will be anointed our fearless leader, and many of us will be disgusted by the sight, as we wonder how many rights will be trampled on by his surely well-meaning efforts. (hang on... let me crank up the sarcasm meter for that last bit.) i really think that he is my greatest fear. the thought of four years of his meandering, intellectually unanchored, done at daddy's bidding leadership terrifies me. and don't even remind me that it could be longer than that. ::sigh:: i swear, my TV boyfriend may well be my only saving grace, as he mercilessly punctures the Shrub.
damn... is it the weekend yet? i'm really over this whole work week. besides the fact that my boss was a rude twit yesterday, and not much better today, i'm tired. (see previous bit about the gym.) i did open the conversation with the boss today by asking if i needed my Kevlar vest, so i think he got the point. and my tub still isn't fixed yet. i don't want to keep nudging my landlord to get this done. but i hate watching my money run down the drain.
i was looking forward to going to the Wine Expo this weekend... until i checked out the ticket prices. $60. per person. per day. i'm pretty sure this is a 200% jump from last year. sweetie theorizes that they want to keep Joe Plonk off the show floor and make it more of a trade thing. well, it worked. at those prices, i'd have to drink 5 or 6 bottles worth of wine to feel like i got my money's worth, and i had no intention of even coming close to a single bottle's worth in the first place. they do a series of seminars and chef demonstrations that would have made it a break even proposition. but they charge for those, too, above and beyond the entrance fee. eh. fine. whatever. i didn't need to go and spit grape juice with y'all.
i'm thinking that the Musuem of Fine Arts might be fun. they have a few exhibits i'd like to see, including Dangerous Curves, about guitars (get out of the gutter! ::wink::), and Art and the Camera: The Photographs of F. Holland Day, who, among other things, was involved with a controversial arts journal (Yellow, if i remember correctly), and was mentor to Khalil Gibran, in addition to being a fine photographer. the MFA gives a member discount in their restaurant, so i'm thinking of combining Sunday brunch with the leisurely perusal of some fine art. sounds like a nice day...
