19.06.2002

feeling kinda

so... so, yeah. today has been better. i'm still feeling a bit flattened, for sure. and i find my ability to be polite around others is lower than usual. which is odd, when you think about it, because you'd think i'd want to be nicer than usual given all the pain already out there. then again, being rubbed raw leaves me with less than one nerve. and there's still the whole thing with annullment paperwork (*much* more on that at a later date).

fortunately, D told me something that has always made me laugh and has stood me in particularly good stead the last few days. his grandfather always told him, 'laddie boy, 100 percent of the people on earth are assholes. it's just that some of them are your sort of asshole.' *snerk*

anyway... there have been small, good things happening that cheer me up more than they have any right to. to wit: the roses from my florist. i keep glancing over at them, to the left of my monitor at work (okay, staring at them for long periods of time), and they make me smile. such a small gesture, handing me a few stems of ivory pink roses. but so kind, and spontaneous, and from the heart.

i went back today to get some bamboo stems today, and he gave me a crazy insane discount. and now i have seven curly bamboo stems in a glass vase in my living room, perched in some Japanese river stones. so i have green growy things brightening up the spot i haven't been able to fit anything in for ages.

then when i got home, i got an unexpected dose of Lewis Black. he usually does Wednesday nights on The Daily Show, i thought, so i was pleasantly surprised to hear his voice. i squealed 'Lewis!! yay!!' and went skittering over to the couch. he did a very silly rant about, oh, i don't even know what. barbeque contests, at least. and when he actually used the phrase 'hot beef injection' on the air, i whooped with laughter.

and i did a fair amount of retail therapy yesterday. got some new albums (trance, rap, blues, and ambient) to keep me happy at work, and a few books, some for me, one for a friend. read Dead Until Dark last night - it's a Southern vampire mystery, and funny to boot.

plus i got back a slew of pictures yesterday. 6 rolls - one was a drunken rampage just after i'd gotten the camera, so i have wayyyyy more pictures of my cats than i really need. the rest are from holidays, a trip to see ChicaBeanie's new house, and the wedding. ah, yes. the wedding. pictures of some of the happiest people i've ever seen, lots of food and dancing, and the Viking Hats. somehow, there appeared two hats with Viking horns. not just two horns, and not the standard issue. oooohhhh, no. these were festooned with a dozen neon glowing horns. much insanity stemmed from those toques. :)

i also got pictures of me in The Car. oh, yeah, baby. i went to the MG/Rover car show a few weekends ago, and found The Car. a 1967 MG in beyond mint condition. i talked with the owner for nearly an hour, and not only did he send me some photos, he let me sit in the car. it felt so right, i nearly didn't get out. i'm planning on blowing up the photo and hanging it over my desk to make one of my childhood goals a bit more tangible.

so things are getting better, in small ways. i think maybe the big weepy snotfest the other night let the storm break. and i hear that others are moving forward as well, which makes me feel good, and hopeful.

yesterday :: tomorrow