in a spectacular display of my lack of coordination, i flung myself down my front steps tonight, confirming once and for all that i'm nobody's poster child for agility.
why would you do a thing like that?, you might ask. good question. it's like this: in all the years that i've lived in my current place, i appear to be the only person who ever changes the light bulbs in the common areas. mind you, there have been anywhere from 2 to 7 other people living there at any give time.
so the bulb blows, and i get pissed off. i decide to wait for someone else to pony up a few bucks for a bulb and get off their duff to do the work. then, invariably, i get aggravated at not being able to find the lock or the delivery guy not being able to find my doorbell, and i cave in. you might say that this is why i get caught changing all the bulbs, but i can be a patient person. we've gone without a porch light for upwards of 6 months at a time.
both the front hall and the porch light are out these days. it's late, i'm tired, i decide to run to the 24x7 pharmacy for a few things. i grab my keys and head out. and just before i hit the cement, i have that moment of 'oh, shit. that wasn't the last step.'
in hindsight, the fact that the landlord hasn't mowed in weeks and there are foot-high weeds by the bottom step couldn't have helped.
for those of you who have done yoga, you can appreciate the impossibility of this: i managed to fling myself in pigeon pose, difficult to do intentionally on the best of days. i scraped my left knee, bashed open the top of my left foot (right by the ankle, where it should bend), and whapped my right hip on the concrete. so now instead of running a quick errand, i had to mop myself up and drag my bloody self to the first aid aisle for repair supplies. i tried to ignore the damage at first, and just soldier on, but when the blood started running down my leg, i decided i had to clean up first. 'come back here! it's only a flesh wound!'
i debated getting the scar therapy pads, but settled for some new fangled things that are supposed to take the place of the scab and help heal faster. and then i limped back to the car.
here's the worst of it. wait, no - there are two bad things. one: my left foot screams bloody murder when i try to use the clutch or, in general, move. and my hip complains vociferously when i don't pamper it. two: there is no way to limp when you bang up both sides. really. trust me. i experimented, up and down the pharmacy aisles, with different limps. favor one side, favor the other, generally gimp along trying to favor both sides - trust me, there is just no good solution to this.