05.03.2002
feeling kinda
i swear, if my head weren't attached, i would leave it behind. today was a perfect example. got organized to run a quick errand at CVS. this was necessary because the one i went to the other night didn't have what i needed. possibly better in the long run, as i remembered my coupons and SmartCash thingiemabobbers this time. or at least i thought i did. as i stood talking to L on the way out, i realized i didn't have said coupons &c with me. so, back to my desk i go trotting.
walk on over to CVS, squinting mightily the whole way as i forgot to put my sunglasses in their case in my backpack. instead of keeping the glare out of my eyes, they're sitting in my car. helpful. i wander thru CVS, taking far too long to pick out the few things i need, and then get up to the register. i hand over my basket, my ExtraCare card, my coupons, my SmartCash thingiemabobber, and start fishing for my wallet.
no wallet.
small panic, until i realize i'd put it in my club bag the other night when my best friend and i went out to dinner. and that's where it still is.
then i get annoyed with the guy at the register. here's why: 'i don't have my wallet. can i write you a check?' 'sure.' *writes check* 'i need an ID with that.' 'um... duh?! this is why i said: i don't have my wallet. can i have my coupons back, please?' feh. i mean, i'm sorry i inconvenienced him, for sure, but in most places on the Planet Earth, 'i don't have my wallet' translates into 'i don't have my ID, or my ATM card, or any cash, or any dorky baby photos'. apparently, he's not From Here.
maybe the misplaced wallet thing is contagious. my best friend and i went out to dinner at Rangoli (i took her out to make up for taunting her with dosas over the phone last week), and she left her wallet on the floor of my car, leading to a panicked phone call the next morning. we were both in a food coma after lots and lots of tasty Indian food, which i suppose was the cause.
speaking of dinner, it was really nice to catch up with her again. we hung out the night before, as well, and it's been a welcome dose of normal. dinner was a lot of fun; i had forgotten how nice it can be to talk with someone who is so very much on your wavelength. i mean... i ordered a second mango lassi, and she shot back with 'what? Timmy's in the well!', which cracked me up.
anyway, i've been forgetting a lot of things lately. took my 15 minutes to find my car key the other day. couldn't remember where i'd put it. it was in one of the places i always leave it, out of habit. my unconscious mind looks out for the rest of me pretty well, as i do things by rote. on the other hand, i tried to put the cordless phone in the refrigerator recently.
i suppose i could blame it on aging, or a disrupted sleep pattern, or too much caffeine, or not enough caffeine, or food coma. but i don't think it's any of that, really. or, it's all of that, but there's a root cause for each of them. i think it's a more noticeable side effect of the depression this time around. i don't remember being this spacey last time. bit of a Catch-22 with that one, tho, isn't it? perhaps it's time to call my therapist and see if the meds need to be adjusted. i don't really mind forgetting things (i've managed to leave the house dressed appropriately each time so far) but if i don't have to, it would be better.
well, maybe it's a good thing i picked up that jigsaw puzzle the other night. i got a little irritated when i first started, because i realized it was going to take a long time to do, at a thousand pieces. then i thought, nope, don't get irritated. just take your time, and focus, and slow down. maybe working on puzzles will help, in a meditative sort of way.
