28.02.2002
feeling kinda
so what exactly are the symptoms of the Black Plague? because i'm pretty sure i have it.
i spent a few more days out sick this week, and did nothing but sleep the whole time. the laundry is about to revolt, the dishes are overflowing the sink, the waste baskets are all full, i haven't gotten my mail in days, real or virtual, and i've pretty much memorized the program schedules for nearly every cable channel going. the kittens are happy, because they have someone to nap with. white cat curls up on my lap, or as close to my face as he can get, and grey cat has taken to sitting on my head.
i didn't feel all that badly when i called in the other day. i just couldn't wake up. my body declared that we were going to sleep, and that was that. L said he thought i'd come back too quickly after the last round, and he'd tell my boss i'd called in dead. i didn't catch that last bit until after i'd hung up; does a delayed humor response mean anything?
i'm tired of being tired. i'm tired of being sick. i don't want to be an unshowered lump on the couch anymore. and it's not fucking fair. i'm not smoking, i'm not drinking, i'm not doing any caffeine, i'm taking my meds and eating regular meals and getting lots of liquids, nice healthy fruit juices even... WTF? how is it that i'm doing all these good things and i still feel like crap? okay, i'm not exercising, but i wasn't doing much of that before i got sick. so it's not fair to blame it on that.
i have been thinking about the gym lately, though. frankly, i think about it every month, when i pay the membership fee, and i kick myself for not using the thing for which i'm paying. i keep saying i'm going to start going to at least one class a week. really, i should. now that i'm driving (whoo hoo), it would be easier to lug around all the crap you need to go to the gym.
it amazing to me how something so simple can multiply when you're not looking. you think, 'oh, sweats and sneakers. good to go.' well, that, and a sports bra, and a t-shirt, and socks, and shower stuff, and maybe a towel unless you feel like ponying up an extra few bucks a month for towel service (which is well worth it, if you ask me, because there are few things scrungier than carrying around a damp gym towel and forgetting to wash it when you get home). oh, and how about a water bottle, and maybe a magazine to read while you're on the treadmill, and your mat for yoga class? see, by the time you bring all the stuff you need, you may as well have packed for the weekend.
when i first signed up, i was all gung ho and didn't care about toting my bag around. hell, i even jogged to the gym a few times. and when i was going with my best friend as my gym buddy, it wasn't so bad, because she'd drive. then she moved, and i got superbly lazy.
i really need to break that (non)habit. it would be nice to go to a yoga class once a week or more. i always like how i feel after an hour of stretching and meditation.
right now, tho? i just want to curl up with the kitties and nap.
