but stanz isn't well. she's so fragile that i have to lift her up on the counter to give her her meds. and she's dehydrated, again.
i took her in to the vet again today, and asked if they could give her sub-cu fluids, to ease things. i didn't think they'd fix anything. i just thought, maybe, with some fluids in her system, she'd be a bit more comfortable.
she took the fluids, two doses. but the vet had a hard time finding a vein to test her blood levels. that's how dehydrated my poor baby is.
they had to shave both of her front paws, because they couldn't find a vein in her neck.
my poor sweetie is starting to look like a poodle. shaved butt, shaved by the base of her tail, shaved neck, shaved paws...
i'm spending most of my time talking to her, and trying not to cry.
the vet and i talked again. and i've run out of options.
please, little grey sweetie - just hang in there one more day. please, please...
and god love my dad. i may squawk about my relationship with him, but god love him, he is my rock when i need him.
in the middle of dealing with work and taking care of my gram, dad took the time to talk with me about all this. he assured me that not spending a thousand dollars on my kitty doesn't make me a bad pet parent. and he told me that he knows i'm strong enough to do this, to let her go.
he said 'this sucks. and after it's done, it will suck more. you'll wonder if you did the right thing. and you will have, but it will still suck.'
that doesn't sound like comfort, but it is. i love my dad for many reasons, not the least of which that he won't sugar coat things.
'and i give you about six weeks before you get a new kitten.'
my dad. he knows me almost better than i know myself.