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coda

15.09.2002

feeling kinda how a girl feels

the coda to yesterday's entry: after the service, i headed back to my usual hangout to decompress, and ended up hanging out with some friends who were celebrating a birthday and the anniversary of their engagement. it was good to be around friends, and be part of something positive. i also stopped at the spot in Davis where they've put up a memorial; last year, it was the site of an impromptu altar, with candles and notes. i tended the candles for a bit, and left a plant and a flag.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my brain never ceases to amaze me. i've had some truly baffling dreams lately. i can't even remember them in any detail, but i do remember waking up most mornings lately, and mumbling '... the hell?'

you'd think that this might feed into some creative writing. you'd be wrong. or at least i would. i've been sitting here in front of the monitor, staring at the keyboard, and not being able to find the right words for a damn thing floating around my brain.

so i decided to go for a drive. i find going for a random drive late at night is sometimes soothing, and sometimes inspiring. the change of scenery, getting out of the house and occasionally out of my head - once in a while, it's like percussive maintenance for the writing gears. just smacks them back into action.

soot sweat skunk salt

tires on wet pavement
the sluice of rubber
on damp asphalt

window all the way down
washed over with salt air
miasma of skunk
car smelling of soot and sweat

okay, so i was looking to get my writing groove back, and it didn't really click. somewhere in those sad little lines is the seed of a good essay. but tonight, going for a drive just got my nap groove going. maybe tonight's dreams will be more inspiring.

yesterday :: tomorrow

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