the danish outpost
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elevators, migraines, and benevolence.

2000-09-19

feeling kinda how a girl feels

wrong!

if you've never had a migraine, count your blessings. death is a preferable alternative. which means, in case you didn't guess, that someone is driving an ice pick thru my left eye while gregory hines tap dances on what's left of my scalp.

yech.

and today's theme, boys and girls (since every day seems to have one), is The Elevators With Minds of Their Own. **insert gratuitous creepy Hitchcockian score here**

went to head downstairs for a break and wasn't really paying attention when i stepped onto the elevator. well, why should i? short of walking into someone, stepping onto an elevator isn't that challenging. or so i thought... you know that moment when you don't realize you're about to step off the curb, and then you do? i was very suprised to fall forward into the elevator, as it was several inches shy of being flush with the lobby floor. and then it decides to to this jiggy little dance, trying to line itself up, while trying to close the door.

i found all this very disconcerting.

and then i had to truck down to the county courthouse to hook up with the assistant DA. no, no, not like that! i just had to get some documents to him. geez, louise... and the elevator purgatory continued. the security guy explained to me how to get to the DA's office by stair. so i looked at him and said, 'i would want to not take the elevators... why?'. *sigh* he was a bit too diplomatic in his answer, so like a fool, i didn't take the hint; i took the elevator from the lobby. pressed the button for 2, got off, found myself on 1. it was a complete toaster moment - put the bread in, set it to 4, the toast comes up 3! not at all what i asked for... but if you put the toast back down and set it to 4 again, it'll come up 5 - no good. fellow acolytes in the church of eddie the divine will understand just what that means.

the woman working in archives was very sweet and pointed out that i was actually on 1, and in response to my utterly befuddled look said 'the elevators are sort of ... *misbehaving* today.' hmph. did i get smart? nope, because it turns out that i had to go up to the 13th floor to find my ADA - which in and of itself should have been a slap-in-the-face omen. as i was standing in the elevator, trying not to get dizzy looking at the bizarre m.c. escher metal mesh pattern on the inside of the doors, i realized that there was a big danger sign posted.

where the safety certification paper usually goes.

*gulp*

ran the hell off that elevator, let me tell you.

but hey, third time's the charm, yes? so again i roll the dice and get on an elevator headed back down to the lobby. and for reasons known only to the little minkies running these elevators, it decides to stop. at every. single. floor. despite the fact that the first requested stop was on 4. after about 3 rounds of this, a very grey suited frustrated man hustled out of the elevator. which apparently was the machine's goal, to drive him off, because it then ran the express bus to the lobby, completely bypassing 4. the other two women in the elevator and i looked at each other and started laughing.

come to find out, relaying this on the way out to the security guy who had tried to talk me into hoofing up 14 flights (yeah, right), every single elevator in that building has failed it's safety inspection. i still found it hard to feel much sympathy for the guy stuck between floors for 6 hours yesterday. as security guy pointed out, you *did* have your cell phone with you. do i even want to know why it took you 6 hours to call your mother? and why call mommy? couldn't you have called your office, which is in the same damn building? or the front desk, perhaps? you probably step in front of moving cars at crosswalks, too, don't you? yeesh.

took an interesting personality test today, wherein i discovered my inner medieval child (apparently, we all have one). here are the results:

leonine traits


Your distinct personality, The Benevolent Ruler might be found in most of the thriving kingdoms of the time. You are the idealistic social dreamer. Your overriding goal is to solve the people problems of your world. You are a social reformer who wants everyone to be happy in a world that you can visualize. You are exceptionally perceptive about the woes and needs of humankind. You often have the understanding and skill to readily conceive and implement the solutions to your perceptions. On the positive side, you are creatively persuasive, charismatic and ideologically concerned. On the negative side, you may be unrealistically sentimental, scattered and impulsive, as well as deviously manipulative. Interestingly, your preference is just as applicable in today's corporate kingdoms.

try it out and see what you think - Kingdomality

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