2001-02-08
feeling kinda
::quietly letting breath out:: so. the court case is done. at least, it's done for me. it's only taken six months to get thru this.
there was some kerfuffle about whether i needed to show up in court today, so i checked in with the DA this morning *juuuuust* to be sure. sure enough, she said it would probably be best to come in. my poor best friend (hee hee.... how funny is that - i actually typed 'beset' friend first!) was still asleep when i called her to say i was going in; she dragged herself out of bed without complaining to go with me. i stopped on the way over to her house to pick up coffee (for her) and sticky buns (for both of us); the least i could do was fuel her up for the morning. her mom was very funny, and made sure we had napkins to clean up with. she's such a sweetie. good thing, too, since i had forgotten to grab any napkins at the store.
we got down there, and trundled up to the 14th floor to sign in, and then wait. and wait. and wait. really, it wasn't that long (hour and a half?), but when you're sitting there staring at dingy scarred plaster walls and watching some very unhappy people traipse past you, it feels like a long time. fortunately, the DA did what she could to have the hearing presented promptly and get me out on time to teach this afternoon. yay, and thank you.
the DA was great; i don't know how she picked up on all the details as quickly as she did, to do a very good presentation of the case. it takes a special kind of brain to be able to do that, i think, or a lot of training to get yourself to hone in on details and structure. damn. it's impressive, for sure, and i'm grateful for her skills. the defense lawyer... probably has the same skills, but i'm not so grateful for him. ;)
more than anything, i didn't want to lose my composure while on the stand. i had run thru this a few times in my head last night, sort of mentally rehearsing, and for the prosecution, i could pretty well predict the questions. the defense i had no idea, tho; the best i could do was remind myself to take a deep breath and pause before answering any questions. because, as we all know, it's those snap answers that get us in the most trouble. at least in my case, i usually let fly with something terribly sarcastic or bitter if i don't process first. and it's a good thing i paused before each answer today. man, that weasel was out to rattle me. understandable, as that's his job, but still. some of the questions he asked were so laughably off topic that it was hard to control myself. 'and that would be relavent to... what?' is not an answer that inspires friendliness in a lawyer or a judge, methinks. i did let fly with one or two shots, which fortunately the judge didn't see as problematic. really, i'm just glad i didn't leap over the witness stand and smack this guy. feh.
the DA had described the judge to me as fair, but tough, so i had no big expectations for the outcome. in fact, even before i knew that about the judge, the amount of the settlement didn't matter to me too much. i got the emotional closure i needed at the sentencing. when i filed the police report, more than anything, i wanted her to be held publicly responsible for assaulting me. it hadn't occured to me that i could get money back. funny, that, in our lawsuit happy society, but there you go. and maybe that's why it was easier to step back and just sort of watch the process of giving testimony today, rather than getting wound up. i was blown away when the judge ruled in the full amount for me. and i just feel relieved. not happy, really. i sort of have this feeling that if i'm too happy about this, Bad Karma will come my way. rather, just quietly accept the decision, and move on.
