the danish outpost
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across your carpet of stars

07.10.2002

feeling kinda how a girl feels

ever have one of those days where every freakin' lyric you hear on the radio seems designed to remind you of something bothering you?

there were times you held me, and we became the sky.

i'm craving a relationship these days. not some sort of June Cleaver, mom and apple pie kind of thing. not even really anything with an eye towards the future, altho i do keep wondering if that will ever happen.

no, right now, i just want someone to curl up on the couch with, watch movies, rub my feet, hold hands, and really *mean* it when they ask 'so, how was your day?'. that's all. not even big mushy romantic fireworks. i wouldn't turn that down... well, wait. yes, maybe i would.

i like my life, overall. it's a comfortable little existence i've made for myself. nice space to live in, both physically and emotionally, good friends, a job that doesn't always drive me completely bonkers and which comes with a steady paycheck, and a town that i love. it's even starting to feel like my town. and that's a good feeling.

it's just that sometimes it would be nice. it would be good to have that extra little validation and support. i'd like to know that there was someone around who could deal with my whole self, no pretenses. yes, my friends do that for me, and for that, i'm grateful. but i don't really want to bring them home with me, if you know what i mean.

*sigh* i like who i am, and i don't need a boy to prove that i'm okay. but i think we all need that extra something, someone, some... some. you know?

i hope that you're waiting for me across your carpet of stars.

and apologies for beating a dead horse, but i'm missing my grey kitty. i can feel that she's still around, on some level. i won't ever lose her. and i hope she knows i still love her. i'm trying to spend more time thinking about all the lovely years we did have together. i'm thinking about putting together a little photo album. my mom did that for me once, when i had to leave her at my parents for a variety of complicated reasons.

i miss her.

yesterday :: tomorrow

your moment of...
2000-2002 by eac. feel free to link to my site; if you do, please drop me a line.
ambience
listening to/watching: watching for that grey flash to come around the corner
reading: 'bout my family.
random: do you think it's dry ice?

recently
*tap tap* hellooo?
i think i've been tricked
steely grey days
warm food for cold weather
the appeal of the broken boy

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