2001-02-04
feeling kinda
well, i managed to completely screw up my body clock this weekend. but it was well worth it. i picked up some take out Friday night, we watched some TV and i dozed off, and we went to sleep relatively early (for us). Saturday morning, we got up long enough to have breakfast... and then i crawled back into bed for a nap. sweetie thought this was a good idea, and joined me.
five hours later (!) we got up for lunch. that was a hell of a nap.
mostly, we napped and shopped this weekend. we did get motivated enough to go to the Museum of Fine Arts for brunch. it felt deliciously decadent to get a bottle of wine in the middle of the day. the food was really yummy, probably more so because someone else was doing all the cooking and cleaning up. i had smoked duck on a scone with grilled asparagus and scrambled eggs with a mustard sauce. and the dessert tasting plate was lovely. it was a veritable trough of tastiness. *g* finally got a chance to see the Dangerous Curves exhibit on guitars. it was kind of interesting to see all the different styles; some of the older Spanish ones were phenomenally ornate. and there were some true oddities. one double guitar looked like a Dali dream. i was pretty tired by the time we got to the exhibit, tho; we'd lingered over brunch, seen the F. Holland Day exhibit, and done some shopping before we got to Dangerous Curves. funnily enough, earl took a lot longer going thru the exhibit than i did; usually it's the other way around.
mostly, tho, this weekend has been all about aggravation. see, i'm working on quitting smoking. again. really. this time, i plan to stick with it. i've been tapering off, from a pack or more a day to just a few or none. and the last few days, i haven't had any. i've been using a homeopathic compound to help stave off the cravings. and it's working pretty well. but. i'm still wanting that first cig in the morning when i walk to work. and when i'm at the bar with friends? it's a reflex. most of them smoke, which isn't helping. the homeopathic bit is curbing the wanting - the thought of a cigarette makes me nauseous. but it's very difficult to break behavior patterns. that, more than anything, is making me crazy. oh, that - and gaining weight. i'm trying very hard not to substitute half-pound chocolate bars for the pack of cigs. and i think i'm doing well. but no matter how good i am, my metabolism is still going to change if i don't fuel it up with nicotine. so... i'm gaining even more weight, on top of the nastiness already swaddled around my waist. and it makes me cranky. oh, i know that going to the gym 4 or 5 times a week and really working out hard, which i have been doing for the last month, will gradually make a difference. but there's just a horrible tug of war going on inside my body, and unfortunately, the post-nic team is winning this week.
needless to say, that makes me cranky. sweetie has been living in mortal fear for his life this weekend. i asked him if he thought i was being cranky, and he answered 'well, yeah!' in that 'duh!' tone of voice, without so much as missing a beat. apparently, i almost jumped down his throat at the restaurant the other night. hm... and i didn't even catch it. ::sigh:: teaching all week should really be a treat, altho i'm not sure if it will be more fun for me or my students.
but i'm working on it - i'm really working on it. i'm feeling my mortality more and more these days, and i'd like to be around in one piece for a good long time. especially after considering where i would like my life to go, it's just something i have to do. wish my sweetie luck surviving the next few weeks. if you have a spare bullet-proof vest, i'm sure he'd appreciate the loaner.
