04.12.2001
feeling kinda
it's late. it's been a long day, and while technically it's tomorrow (after midnite), i'm still thinking it's Tuesday. because it stays the same day until you go to sleep, no? well, no, but yes. i didn't get home until after twelve, and i'm sitting here at the computer with a glass of wine, listening to the late night jazz show, with a zillion ideas for entries rattling around in my head, and none of them will gel. instead what you will get is the late nite brain dump of a tired woman who can't even muster the energy to fancy herself a writer just now. ;)
let me also preface this by saying: if any of these ideas seem incomplete, i intend to revisit them later and really think about them. but for now? snips and snaps.
it was a long day because i worked both jobs. my boss at job #1 thinks that i'm unhappy and depressed about job #1 because i'm wearing myself out working job #2. valid question. however, the pleasure i get from working job #2 and hearing a ton of live music is part of what gives me the energy to keep at job #1. and it's only one or two nights a week. so, nnyaaahhh.
well, that was mature, wasn't it? :) anyway... long day of staring at bits and bytes. i can only look at XML for so long before the brain starts to melt. got a lovely break in the middle of the day - caught up with my best friend who was in town, and walked with her and her pug puppy in the park. watching her puppy, all 3 pounds of her, skitter around the park, trying to simultaneously meet everyone and fit everything she could find in her teething mouth, was tonic for the soul. also, quite hilarious.
i never liked pugs before because i only knew old, cranky, wheezy, asthmatic ones who bit. a lot. my best friend's pug is barely three months old, adorable, and very sweet tempered. almost makes me rethink my opinion of punt dogs. and it was a great day to be walking her, too. mild and sunny, leaves all over the ground - if you've never seen a 6" tall puppy stand in a 5" pile of leaves, i highly recommend it. amusement all around.
unfortunately, one of my concerns about small dogs became a truism today. the puppy likes to run around a lot, and has a thing about running around feet. i've worried about stepping on her. today? it happened. first time i've heard a real bark out of her. i felt guilty for quite some time, despite the fact she was fine. rugged little bugger, she is. walking down the street about 10 minutes later, i kept shaking my foot out, because i could still feel (guilty conscience) the spot on the bottom of my foot where i'd tromped on her delicate little paw. go figure. she was fine, i wasn't.
it was still wonderful to catch up with my best friend. i miss her physical presence a lot. she's an hour away now. we talk, some, on the phone. and we trade the occasional email. but it's not quite the same. it's gonna take some adjusting. (more on this later...)
towards the end of the day, i extricated myself from some goofs i'd made earlier in the day, and hit a roadblock. i just didn't want to do much more; it was time to leave. headed out as reasonably early as i could, stopped by to make sure that D got the Stevie Ray box set i'd left for him (he did), and headed downtown to grab a quick bite to eat before working. met up with Frack while doing so, and traded gossip. he confirmed some things i've been worrying about, and helped me remember to brush it off, as it isn't all that important.
worked the Lucinda Williams show, and it was lovely. i managed the shift upstairs, and it was easy all around. people showed up on time, sat down, and that was it. it was good not to have Issues tonite. side note: now i know why you weren't allowed to smoke in foxholes during trench wars. the embers show up at 50 yards. yeah, a few people got busted.
stopped at the 24 hour pharmacy on the way home, and picked up both scrips. it was a relief to discover that after the mess yesterday, they finally got it right. also got some shampoo, vanilla scented, and forgot to get saltines to combat the queasiness. the meds are good for some reasons, but as much as they fix, they break a few other things.
what else... odd things in the neighborhood. this house i walk by every day? gone. Gone. not just burned down, or torn down. gone. the foundation isn't even there anymore. just a bitg sandy hole in the ground. i walked around the corner the other day and stopped wicked short. nearly fell over my own feet. it was a bit surreal to expect to see a certain shape, color, form as you reach a point and have it not be there. just a bit more of the Constant Construction one must deal with living in the city, i guess. but odd that it happened a block from me, and i didn't see it coming.
other house stuff: remarked to my best friend about all this renovation i saw at a house around the corner from her parents. i was blown away when she told me the story. turns out this gorgeous old house was owned by a recluse couple who felt odd about having strangers in the house, so they never had any repairs done. when they died, an architect bought the house, and is having it redone properly. get this: there were trees growing in the ballroom. trees. small ones, but trees. the roof had collapsed, and the trees were taking over. unbelievable. i'm excited to see what the architect will do. it's a huge house, with a wonderful back yard (unheard of in that neighborhood), and an interesting brick parking shed. *stay tuned for updates*
ah! important bit. the friend who disappeared for a week resurfaced the other day. he was having a bad week, and decided not to call anyone. i was relieved beyond belief to hear from him. hearing his voice on the phone was a nearly tangible reassurance that nothing Really Bad had happened to him. and then i got mad. you know how that works? once you know people are okay, it's alright to let all that concern out in the form of anger. you can be angry that they had you so worried, angry that they didn't clue you in, angry that all that energy was for naught. i had changed my plans for the night, so we didn't do the driving lesson that was pencilled in for the other night, but we did meet up for coffee. and it was hard for me to balance the relief and the anger. (much more on this one later, also.) the key part, for now, is that he's okay, for which i am most grateful.
and latest on the grey cat is that she's nearly back in fighting form. i'm trying to convince myself that since she's doing all her functions nearly regularly that it isn't kidney disease. she and i tussle twice a day about the meds, which i take as a good sign. if she's fighting back, she feels better. so it can't be that bad, right? *crosses fingers and paws*
oooohhhh... so much more rattling around in my head. but it will have to wait for another day. right now, i think i need some sleep. :)
