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my lover has taught me to peel oranges

2001-04-25

feeling kinda how a girl feels

i'm not feeling particularly voluble tonight. migraines will do that to you. funny, i usually get a migraine when my period starts, and i know when it's going to happen, so you'd think i might take a little preventive action and take my medicine, right? nope. i don't remember the migraine is going to come until it's already here. i prefer to call it willful ignorance rather than denial, thankyouverymuch.

you know, i should say that things aren't really all that bleak. there are good things happening. and most of the time, i can feel myself planted in the here and now. but i liked the way that piece turned out, and decided not to tinker with it.

found a beautiful site today: the American Buddhist Center. it's gorgeous, and there's a wealth of information there. the animations are delicate, pretty eye candy. and the chant room is wonderful. well worth exploring.

so i was shuffling papers around the other night, and i can't even remember what i was looking for, but i found an old notebook with some writing. of course, this got me searching for another notebook, which i haven't found yet. and it will make me crazy until it turns up, the thought that it's sitting somewhere obvious and i'm missing it.

oddly, i used to write a lot of poetry. odd because i don't think of myself as a poetic wordsmith. prose is more my gig. but maybe i should stretch a little and try poetry again. here's the one i found last night.

i have not yet washed the tracks
of you
off my body, preferring
to drowse

i wake later,
with the taste of you on my skin,
the smell of you in my hair,
your warmth lingering
on the pillow and on
my thighs.

it is as if, unwilling to leave me,
you have found a way
to stay, wrapped around me,
chest pressed against back,
breath fluttering against neck,
arms and legs and
fingers entangled.

i drowse again, curling deeper
into this dream of you.

what do you think? good? bad? i actually like the look of it better on paper. something about handwriting just fits better. and i used to use this French brand of notebook, with graph paper instead of lines, and each section is a different color. deep blue ink spilling over green paper... it looks prettier that way. maybe if i can get ahold of a scanner, i'll scan up the original.

and now i really, *really* want to find that other notebook. it has my stab at trying on the styles of e. e. cummings and Frank O'Hara. it's one way to learn to write. and i was rather happy with how they turned out. and it's got one line in it: 'my lover has taught me to peel oranges.' which was true. and it has a nice ring to it. damn. how is it that i can remember one line i wrote 15 years ago, but when i get up from my desk at work, i forget if i got up to get coffee or go to the print room?

oh, in the CD right now, all of my David Gray albums. so, yeah. uh, ken? i lied. there is a band i'd kill to see. and he's it. i'm so psyched to be working that show this weekend. see, i told you good things were happening. 8)

yesterday :: tomorrow

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