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18.03.2002

feeling kinda how a girl feels

i left early today to see my therapist. in talking out the whole reorg thing with her, it doesn't sound like the end of the world. it felt like that on Friday, for sure. now it's less sucky. i'm still trying to grapple with it all, but i don't feel like things are caving in around me. of course, i still don't know what my job is going to be in the next few months, but at least i have one.

but, in a 'world always balances out' sort of way, i was reminded how much boys suck. after running some errands, and going to Lappens to get some stuff for my car, i decided to meet up with some friends for general ranting. it was good to see them both and hang out (they aren't the ones that suck). while the three of us were talking, i thought i saw a Cute Boy watching me. checked with the bartender, found out his name and that yes, indeed, he is single. so i bought him a beer.

we talked for a while, and he invited me out to meet up with some friends and hear a band. then, in the car, he said he felt sick to his stomach. so i dropped him off at home, and gave him my number when he asked. then i decided to go see the band anyway. asked there if anyone knew R, his friend. someone pointed her out, and i went over to tell her that her friend had gone home sick, and wasn't standing her up. she looks at me funny, and says, you mean this guy? he was standing right behind her. i'm pretty sure you could hear my jaw hit the floor for a three block radius.

man, oh man, what a prick. he certainly won Dickwad of the Week award with that one. if you're going to bow out after inviting someone, then don't show up there later. grr. i mean, i understand that it's a guy thing to do (and don't jump on me for that one - my friends who are guys tell me so), but really. at least make up Lie #2, tell me you took something when you got home, and your stomach feels better, and you're sooo glad to see me here, isn't it a great coincidence? if you're gonna lie to get out of something in the first place, then lie to cover your ass when you get caught. that's the nature of lying. you need to keep digging a deeper hole, which is why i recommend the truth in the first place. had he told me that he had other plans, i would have been oh so fine with it. but he *explicitly* invited me along, then ditched.

oh, and then? he couldn't leave well enough alone. he came over to *apologize*. i was so past it at that point that it wasn't worth yelling; it was funny by then. i just told him it didn't matter, i didn't care, fine, whatever. what i should have said was 'next time - just call a cab.' it'll be interesting to see if he has the cojones to call me after all this. i'm guessing that he won't, but as a friend pointed out, he clearly hit every branch on the stupid tree on the way down, so all bets are off.

turned out to be a fun night anyway - i moved up next to the stage to better ignore SuckBoy and his condo in the House of Stupid, and started chatting up the band. bought them a round of drinks and as i was handing them around, found out the lead guitarist is a friend of mine. hung out with the band, band slut that i am, and had a great time.

yesterday :: tomorrow

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