the danish outpost
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eek! a rat!

17.10.2001

feeling kinda how a girl feels

so, tonight was a lot of stress. i tried (as is my wont) to cram way too much in far too little time. but i had to have the boots.

let me back up a little bit. earl and i were out doing some shopping a month or so ago. and i saw these boots. knee high, high stacked heel, textured glittery black fabric. i wanted those boots. but i didn't buy them, not right then. it seemed a little indulgent. and i've never had a pair of boots like that. we'll discount the brown pleather ones in junior high that tried to masquerade as my winter boots. those were an anomaly. really.

i couldn't picture what they would look like. i had no idea what i could wear them with. and i was terrified that they would make my legs look fat. oh, shut up. i *know* my legs aren't fat. i can still panic that a particular skirt or pair of boots will make them look fat.

and i couldn't try them on that day, because i was wearing jeans. so i filed away the idea of the boots, and kept going.

flip back to this week. i have a fundraiser to go to tomorrow night. and it's a fashion show. i can't even hope to look half as glamorous as those who will be strutting the catwalk (okay, bowling lane). but i want to gussy up a little, and try to look a tad more forward fashion thinking than i normally make the effort to be. so i start thinking about the boots.

in the non-existent spare time between work and the staff party (more on that in a minute) i hike myself over to the mall. and i walk in thru the store where i saw the boots. but i think, 'huh. maybe i should check out Aerosoles first to see what they have.' i really like Aerosoles. every pair of their shoes i've ever tried is comfortable. and they last. so i figure, let's see what they have.

they had two pairs that i liked. actually, they had more than that. but these two seemed to fit the outfit i'd decided on. and here's where the fatal flaw creeps in: i was wearing jeans. again.

i trust Aerosole. their 7 1/2 has always fit me. but for some reason, i didn't trust it this time. i couldn't buy them without trying them on. so i take off my clogs and my wool socks, to at least try on the shoe part.

oh, the humiliation. while i'm not all that appearance conscious, there's nothing like staring at pale white feet, with flaky dry skin and ragged toenails with chipped nail polish, under the unforgiving fluorescent glare of the store, to make you cringe. just a bit.

but wait! it gets better! so i throw on a pair of peds and wedge my feet into the boots. this is awkward not because they don't fit my foot. i've got a shin's worth of material all crumpled up, on top of that. and it looks idiotic. there i am, in my jeans and backpack, one jeans leg hiked slightly up, with suede braceleting my ankle at a ridiculous angle, and half a boot on my foot. so i bite the bullet. i decide to pull the jeans up to my knee, so i can see how the boots will really look. because i need to know if they will make my legs all poochy behind the knee.

oh. oh, my friends. oh, thank goddess none of you were there with a video cam. i wrestled the fabric up to my knee, exposing a ridiculously hairy leg. and lemmee tell you, black hair contrasts exceedingly well against pasty white skin. (more cringing) and i still can't get the boot up far enough to tell how it will fit. so i give up, decide to buy both pairs and try them on at home, and take off the boot, leaving my Brillo leg out there for all to see. ah, but the coup de grace - i managed to get my jeans stuck.

i stood there for a good three or four minutes, trying to get the leg of my jeans back down. it had itself firmly ensconced around my knee, and wasn't going anywhere. i briefly contemplated asking for a pair of scissors, to cut out the seam, just so i could run out of the store and hide my blazing red face. thankfully, the jeans finally conceded defeat, but not before my ego was seriously bruised in a way that looked remarkably like an inseam.

i bought both pairs, and scooted out of there as gracefully as possible. on a whim, i walked thru the first store, and found that they no longer had the original object of my affection. so i suppose it's best that i stopped in Aerosole first. at least i found the first pair was gone with spoils in hand.

from there, i headed down to the staff party for the Pavilion. very nearly didn't make it, and got highly pissed off in the process, because it had taken me over an hour to get there. public transportation is handy, but it isn't speedy. got down there, and every gate was locked. the idea that they were all having a good time somewhere, and i was just cold and alone, was infuriating. i had been ambivalent about the party before that. once i thought i was going to miss it, it became Mission Critical. ;)

fortunately, i bumped into someone else who knew where the super secret side gate was (i think there's a handshake to go with that). caught up with everyone, had some dinner and a beer, walked thru the haunted house sort of carnival thing they're doing and was underwhelmed (altho i hear tell it's better with black lights and 3D glasses), and tried not to freeze. having a party outdoors on the waterfront in October is a bit chilly. mr. b gave me a flag pin made out of beads and safety pins - wonder if one of his kids made it? it actually looks very flag like, and i pinned it to my fleecy thing.

scariest thing i saw all night? not the horror maze. nope. it was a bunch of guys sitting around with knives and plastic rats, carefully dissecting them to turn them into finger puppets. :)

and of course, there was the obligatory final visit to Eddie the Greek. somehow we ended up talking about politics and antagonyms. and the boys were all after my phone number, declaring that they couldn't survive without it. as a compromise, i took their numbers and lied thru my teeth about calling them, then promptly lost their cards.

i did, however, hang on to adam's card. we made one last stop at eat, and i was pleasantly surprised to find out that the music we were listening to was the demo tape for adam's new thang. he isn't ready to play out yet, but when he is, i'm hoping that i can find someone who will give him a gig. because the boy is good, and i like to help out my friends.

yesterday :: tomorrow

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