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and i didn't get a flu shot why?

16.02.2002

feeling kinda how a girl feels

a wise man once said you don't get the flu after a flu shot because you have a cold for the rest of the season. he may be right.

i hate having the flu - which is sort of a dumb statement, because i don't know anyone who likes having the flu, or doesn't care one way or t'other. but i felt like saying it anyway. i hate having the flu. i also hate typing the word 'flu' because i keep spelling it 'flue' and have to correct it, which slows me down, which makes me cranky.

i've had the flu for nearly a week solid, and am just starting to feel human again. it hit me out of the clear blue - felt fine Monday, went to work, went to a public hearing, went out with some friends, went to sleep. woke up Tuesday feeling like a wet bag of cement. (why would you say that you were sick as a dog? makes no sense.) since then, i've pretty much been asleep.

took all the strength i had to call in sick that first night; i could barely get to the phone. and everything i did all week required careful planning. 'okay. orange juice, then a nap.' and i'd shuffle from the couch to the refrigerator, barely standing up and feeling like an achy old lady, refill my glass of orange juice, and carefully shuffle back to the couch. that would wipe me out for the next half hour or so. but i made myself at least force fluids, so i wouldn't compound the 103 fever by getting dehydrated. luckily, i had gone food shopping Sunday night and stocked up on OJ which was on sale. i also got restocked a few times, thanks to a few of my friends.

essentially, it was a three day juice fast, because i didn't have any interest in eating. there was some chicken noodle soup in there somewhere, after i'd talked with my best friend and it dawned on me that i had a few cans of CNS left from the last time i was sick. but that was pretty much it. and if i never see another glass of orange juice again, it'll be too soon.

the worst part was that my fever kept spiking. so first i'd be freezing, even tho i keep it pretty warm in my place, and i'd pile on the blankets and fall asleep. then the fever would break, and i'd wake up in a pool of sweat, having soaked thru my pajamas and the sheets. nothing like trying to sleep in a clammy bed. so i'd change and move to the couch, where the whole cycle would start over again. after a few days, all i wanted were clean sheets on the bed and freshly laundered jammies. it's one of the few times i hate living alone. i didn't have the energy to make it happen, and there was noone there to do it for me. i kept dreaming of the Christmas we all had the flu, and mom put clean sheets on my bed. i can still remember exactly how nice it felt to be folded into cool, crisp sheets.

i dreamed about a lot of other things, too. since i wasn't sleeping all that well, i spent a fair amount of time in REM state, travelling thru relatively hallucinatory dreams. pretty much every fear or concern i've ever had surfaced, some in very strange ways. it's not even worth trying to explain them all. let's just say that noone should ever have to wake up from a dream of a chihuahua giving himself a blow job.

ever notice that when you're sick, you make a little camp wherever you are? i had my little Camp Influenza all set up by the couch - tissues, cough drops, orange juice, phone, and remote, all within arm's reach. and when i started feeling better, there was a section for magazines.

thank god that at least the Olympics were on. if i had to be home sick and not have the energy to do much more than glazedly stare at the TV, at least there was something worth watching. and it didn't take much concentration, either, not like trying to follow the plot of a movie. i could take it in in 40 second bites. oh, look - a ski jumper - how nice. *snore* oh, lovely - speed skating. *snore*

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