the danish outpost
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rather personal

14.08.2002

feeling kinda how a girl feels

birthday countdown: 5 days.

so i've taken a little jump off a cliff. i've posted a personal ad on the Internet.

i've been leery of Internet dating for a long time. it's not that i mind meeting people online. in fact, the place i was before starting this journal, i met any number of people that i would count as friends. it's a local bulletin board, and i was involved in managing bits and pieces of the place. there were all sorts of interesting discussions going on at any time. and if you had a question about anything from computers (naturally) to astronomy or how to repair a dryer, you could find someone who knew the answer and was happy to help out. they're still going strong; i only refer to it in the past tense because it's not part of my life anymore. it was a good place to be for 6 or 7 years, and i'm glad for what i gained from being a part of that community.

and i've met other, wonderful people in the journalling community. hell, i've even met some of them in the flesh, so to speak. ;) so the fact that i get to know someone in a disembodied way doesn't faze me.

but somehow, it seems dicier when you're trying to meet a potential date. if i get to know someone as a friend thru a board or a journal, then meet them and they turn out to look nothing like what i expected, it's no big deal. a date can paint himself as Sir Lancelot, however, and then turn out to be Yoda. nothing against Yoda, but wanting to date him, i am not.

plus i've got a bad case of the heebie jeebies about various nefarious sorts that do horrible things under the guise of internet dating. this is not to say that it happens any more or less in that milieu than in face to face interactions. it just puts me off a little more when it happens over the aether. and i can't put my finger on why that is.

that all being said, i finally came to the conclusion that placing a personal ad on the net couldn't possibly be any dicier than my recent experiences in the bar scene (cf Stupid Boy, et al). what really clinched it for me was one recent date, wherein i got the singularly creepy vibe that the person somehow knew the wench who assaulted me. don't ask. i don't know why the vibe came up. and i didn't bother to confirm it, in part because of the paranoid feeling that she had somehow sent him my way. it's not rational, but i tend to trust my gut on things like that, particularly where my personal safety is involved.

so. i wrote an ad. i posted a picture. i was just as cynical and sarcastic in the ad as i am day to day. and i was very clear about what i wanted from a potential date. oh, well, what the hell. i may as well share it with you folks.

is it possible to write one of these without resorting to cliches? hrm... intelligent, attractive woman who can kick your butt at Trivial Pursuit. red headed. owned by two cats. eclectic musical tastes, follows the local music scene. will debate 'til the cows come home, but it's nothing personal and will happily buy you a beer when we agree to disagree. doesn't see nearly enough movies, spends far too much time writing and procrastinating, and is most certainly not a morning person. challenge me, make me laugh, keep me company, listen to me rant, come to dinner with me, put up with my quirks, feed me peeled grapes, go sailing around the harbour with me, don't ever give me roses, surprise me, introduce me to your favorite books.

not too bad, if i do say so myself. and if it sounds overly confident or sarcastic and cuts down on the number of replies? all fine. i'd rather weed 'em out early. i'd rather talk to a few people who can potentially put up with me than tons who can't.

advice to the guys: when you reply? do check your spelling. DON'T TYPE LIKE THIS. use punctuation, for the love of pete! and grammar is good. get to know it. it's your friend. i had a very entertaining phone call with Chica, reading her the notes that didn't make the cut. we both got a good giggle out of that.

so far, a few promising replies. i won't go into the details here, not just yet. but trust that should any of them pan out, i'll let you in on it. :)

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