2001-07-11
feeling kinda
in a minor miracle of sorts, i actually managed to have lunch with dave today. he and i had bumped into each other nearly two months ago; i haven't seen him much since i stopped working at the theatre a while back. since then, we've been playing the seemingly never ending game of phone tag and notes. he'd call when i was in the middle of some busy thing, with a half dozen people in my cube. i'd stop by the theatre, to find that he was out of town, and would leave him little notes.
finally, last week, he called when i wasn't busy, and we found a day to get together for lunch. he's such a sweet guy; it was a pleasure to catch up with him. it was lovely and sunny, so we grabbed sandwiches over at The Wrap and headed out to the park. the plan was to sit in the sun, but i had forgotten that it rained last night. so we ended up parked over by the fountain. we talked about just everything - friends, family and work, art and video games, vacations and work, kids and violence and desensitizing, politics and theatre... pretty much everything under the sun. as we were headed back, dave said he'd like to have lunch again soon. i looked at my watch (which made no sense, really), and said, 'yeah, in about two months you think?' *grin* hopefully, it won't take that long.
i had gone to the ATM before meeting up with dave, and it sparked a funny little memory from this weekend. we were sitting outside at the Beach Shack, having beer and raw bar, and i happened to be the one with the cash, so i had treated. The Boy wanted to grab another beer, so he turned to me and asked if he could have a little money, 'sugar mama'. made me laugh. i don't think i've *ever* been called that before. *grin*
the rest of the day at work was far less interesting. work has been all about inventing numbers. statistics are slippery little beasts. they mean whatever you want them to mean. i've been trying to set up the current test structure in such a way as to have manageably large projections as well as to be able to move thru the numbers quickly.
if you know anything about testing, you know you want to define an action or set of actions that will prove or disprove some function. it could be as simple as clicking a button, or as complex as building a whole environment and running a series of actions to test, say, high stress responses. i decided that the bulk of our test cases (what we count as cases) will take under a minute to run. so we'll be 90% done in no time. the most complicated cases will take a lot longer, but are only 10% of the statistics. the idea of making or showing forward progress has been the single biggest factor to inform the test structure. and it's all about inventing numbers, because the testing will still get done either way. the goal is to spin the presentation to make management happy. and happy management equals happy employees.
i can't remember exactly how or when i learned to manage upwards, but it's been a valuable skill. there are still problems - like my birthday, every damn year. invariably, there's some key project coming to fruition on or about my birthday. i used to not care about being called at home on my birthday. hell, i'd call in voluntarily. but now i'm firmly of the opinion that my birthday should be a national holiday.
this could be a problem this year, as i intended to take the day after off. and of course, it's a key turnover date. i told my boss i'd look at any potential problems before the weekend, do everything i could to resolve them, and leave him all the tools and documentation necessary to make the turnover. and when it comes down to it, turnover entails sending a memo and renaming a file. shouldn't be an issue. but he's adamant that i leave a number. so i will. nothing says i have to answer the phone. ;)
oh - i went shopping after work, and found The Shoes. Jasmine/Sola did have the Chinese Laundry shoes i wanted, in just the right fabric. but i decided that the 4" heels might very well be the death of me, and they gapped a little in the front. didn't have quite the look i wanted. instead, i got a nice pair of 3" heels with complicated strappy things. made me happy.
i took the bus home after that, and went past my usual stop so i could walk thru Union Square. everything looks different when you actually have time to look. i wandered slowly, drinking in colors and textures, people smiling, the changes in the neighborhood and what's stayed the same.
and then, because i was feeling PMSy, i stopped at the Reliable Market to get shrimp chips. the market looks small from the outside, but just goes on for days and days. i ended up with two bags of reasonably determinate food (i don't read any Asian language), including red bean ice cream, pickled ginger, and Pokka coffee drinks. after i paid, i realized i'd missed the Pokka sticks (chocolate goodness). oh well. i'll just have to go back next week.
walking back from the shop, i met a tiny little grey kitten, sitting on the front steps of the house across the street with it's mother. i wanted to go over and pet it, but didn't want to upset Mom, so i just made kissy noises and told it what a beautiful kitten it was. so adorable, tho... made me want to squish him and take him home. not that the other two cats would be pleased with that...
taking the time to go slow allowed me to start reconnecting with myself and feel more comfortable in my own skin. i've seen the beginning signs of depression lately, and it's a daily battle to keep an even keel. little things, tho, like walking home a different way and meeting the kitten, help.
