the danish outpost
updated when time and inspiration allow. latest and greatest always in the blog.
a little more shrapnel

2001-01-11

feeling kinda how a girl feels

feh. the buzz from yesterday has worn off, it seems, and i'm back to thinking about a few other topics that i've been worrying, sort of like a puppy with a chew toy.

there's a bit of follow-up to the case; the DA called about the restitution hearing, and said that we could probably avoid a hearing, just settling in conference. i left him a voicemail thanking him for his efforts, and making it clear that Gina is going to have to come in for a hearing, and i want to force that point. i feel especially strongly about it as she tried to weasel her way out of it yesterday, and the judge said no way. look, if you do something wrong, you need to pay the price. if it's repeated court appearances, then so be it. no sympathy whatsoever here.

and another thing... for some reason, i wondered about Jim's point of view. why on god's green earth would you stay in a relationship (if you can call it that) with someone who has clearly abusive patterns? Gina made it quite clear, while she was assaulting me, that she had every intention of doing the same to him. and they're still together. i ask you... what the fuck?

you may ask me... what the fuck? why even think about this from any point of view? acknowledge and move on. well, easier said than done. i felt a great deal of relief at yesterday's sentencing, part of which came from knowing that i could take serious steps to protect myself. and that allowed a lot of the anger to resurface. when all this happened, i was in shock. then i was scared and angry. then i ignored it for a while, as this has dragged on for nearly six months. now, with the sentencing done, i can be just plain angry.

i don't enjoy being angry, but i acknowledge it's place in any emotional life. for me, i prefer to confront the anger four-square, because that makes it easier to work thru whatever the motivating issue is. once the underlying issue is dealt with, the anger can be put in the appropriate little box, or dismissed altogether. so the fallout of the court case for me is the freedom to let the anger surface and to work through it. part of the process is turning the facts over and over, until they give up their lesson or fail to have any further significance. it's a healing process, overall. and i'm damn angry that she's kept me from getting to this point by dragging out the frickin' case. no, no sympathy here. i'll do whatever it takes to drag her back in to court to face up to her financial obligations.

on an altogether different note, we found the coolest store on the way home yesterday. we were driving down Broadway, i think, in Cambridge, and tripped over (not literally, of course) a store called The Museum of Useful Things. all kinds of spiffy little gadgets and doodads. i knew i was in trouble the moment we set foot in there. i snapped up a half dozen different toys, like a retracting tape measure, and a lemon scented strainer for my kitchen sink. they also had the best price i've seen on the bullet wastebasket; unfortunately, they only had it in large and super large. i mentioned to the salesperson that if they had a small one, i would have bought it in a heartbeat. since i'm not the first person to have said that, she made a note to herself to look into getting the small ones. i would have gone back to the store anyway, but now i have a reason. *g*

caught Eddie Izzard on two different shows the other night - Politically Incorrect (i could have shot the political consultant; she just set my teeth on edge), and The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn (he also sets my teeth on edge, but not so much). Eddie was fantabulous, as always. goddess love him for saying, on the Late Show, that he apologizes wholeheartedly for the Spice Girls. i never cared one way or the other about them until they were on The Daily Show and were incredibly condescending and insulting to my TV boyfriend, Jon Stewart. now, not so much. and to have Eddie apologize? very cool.

worked a boatload on the site last night, mostly behind the scenes stuff, cleaning up dribs and drabs of code, but also getting the 'gold stars' page set up. y'know, i love this journal, but sometimes the drudge work gets to me. i think i need to get into the habit of writing entries first, then doing the housework - sort of the virtual equivalent to eating your dessert first.

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